why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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