Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
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Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
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I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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