It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
