Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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