I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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