To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
