He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
