Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
