I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
