I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
NoShamevember. You game?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
