Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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