Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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