Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
