Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
