shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
