somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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