if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
