Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Randomize
