So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
