Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
