Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i think my cat just said my name.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
