I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
