If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
