Already got asked if we're dating
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
