Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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