So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize