Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
