Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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