I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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