just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
no you cant smoke seaweed
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize