got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
