They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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