If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
sarcasm needs its own font
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize