Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
