i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
