Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
