you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
