dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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