I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
