evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
