is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
