i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
