i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
