Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
