Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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