just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
