Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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