I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
