i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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