now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We have so much sex to catch up on
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
