And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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