38 yer olds are good kisserssss
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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