Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
