very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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