Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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