new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
