I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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