Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
