so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I'm really busy with my period
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