y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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