Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
