I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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